Ordering deli food in New York used to be…well, not pleasant, but it was certainly efficient; during the era of mom-and-pop delicatessens, competition was stiff, and serving impatient customers quickly was a prerequisite for that business’ survival. But with the current prevalence of absentee-owned delis manned by slack-jawed ex-cons and high school kids, Rude but Efficient New York Service has gone by the wayside, leaving only the first adjective.

Perhaps the Teraoka Deli Touch Pen…